Words: Clare Dwyer Hogg
Image: Barney Beech
So much of what I’ve been thinking about involves how to think. This week, it’s all about the direction of my thoughts. It turns out that I often home in on one negative thing about a subject. I didn’t realise I did this. I just thought there were some negative things in my life that I couldn’t help ruminating over. But no, it’s a question of focus. (Bad focus: all, alas, my own.)
For instance, if one relationship feels lacking, it’s likely that a great deal of my thought will focus on it. Thinking about that lack will then lead to other lack-related thoughts. And there I am, filling up my mind with lack. Which is oxymoronic, and, I hasten to add, moronic. Yes, certain lack in our lives needs to be thought about and addressed. Sometimes we can change it, sometimes we can’t. But a disproportionate amount of thought-space devoted to lack, and my mind becomes just a cavern with which to accommodate a void. It changes from a space that enables reflection, to an area where I’ve dug a gaping chasm.
To use the example of lack in relationships: this week, I suddenly found myself dwelling on those areas. As an experiment, I pulled myself up short, and tried the opposite. Why not go through all the relationships I consider good, just to see what the counterbalance is? The results, of course, were quite humbling. I thought through all the amazing personal connections with people that I have. I remembered everyone who would be there for me at a drop of a hat. Numerous people I could speak to about anything, if needed. I lined them up in my mind, and there they were, filling the space. Spilling out of it, in fact, so that I had to widen my thought horizons. It was instructive.
The scary thing about lack is that it will fill up whatever space you give it. Yet the same is true with abundance. The difference is that its power is life-giving
Faced with that comparison, suddenly the lack doesn’t seem as gaping as before. It certainly has less space to fill.
This way of thinking about lack is true for any area of thought-life. Work, existence, family, possessions… whatever lack we are feeling, it is likely to occupy less of a space in our lives than it does in our heads. The only way to find that out, though, is to actively start making comparisons. I’ve recently shut down avenues to comparison – when it’s between me and other people. But in this case – comparison of my lack with what I have in abundance – I’m all for it.
It does require a raising of awareness, though. Noticing when my thoughts are homing in on lack. Stepping back, and deliberately searching my mind for the counter-examples in my life. Observing as they appear into view. Seeing what happens when they are allowed some recognition, as opposed to being crowded out by my constant acknowledgement of blank space. There might be lots of examples of abundance in the area I feel lack. But if there is at least one, alive and well, it is still enough to push the thoughts of lack back into a smaller space.
Lack is like a force that sucks up water from the land: however much thought-space you allow it, lack will drain it, so the soil is cracked and dry. The scary thing about lack is that it will fill up whatever space you give it. Yet the same is true with abundance. The difference is that its power is life-giving.
Just remember that sometimes lack shouts louder, is felt more keenly, in the immediate. And that sometimes abundance has to be sought, remembered. Sometimes, even, it comes in the form of one small seed. All it needs, in any case, is just to be recognised. Then your thoughts are focussed, and the rest happens from there.
