I live in Stoke Newington, North-East London, with my partner Ivo, our daughter Eliza and hundreds of other under-twos. As a place to live, it’s predictable but who can resist the best playground in town, Sparky Songs and Turkish restaurant Number 19 Bos Cirrik? Being a country girl I originally moved to Stokey for the feeling of village life, without realising that 12 years later it would be the perfect place to raise a young family.

I’m a creative at ad agency Bartle Bogle Hegarty (BBH). Colouring in and words are what I do; I write and art-direct ideas that spread across film, posters, radio, online, experiential… anything really. A couple of weeks ago I was filming in Texas, this week I’m prepping for a poster shoot that’ll take place in London, whilst also developing online ideas for another client.

Ad agency creatives usually exist in a team of two people, and I work with another mum who is currently off on maternity leave having her second child. Our role has been notoriously male in the past, there are now more women in most creative departments but an all-female team is still pretty rare, especially an all-mum team. I like that we’re different to most of our contemporaries. And although we come with challenges we offer a unique take on the briefs that land on our desks.

I originally studied Graphic Design, Illustration and Advertising under a great tutor who ran a sort of boot-camp, preparing students for the extremely competitive world we wanted to be part of. He taught me to care about every little detail.

Before I had Eliza I was in the same role but I had time to give up my hours and days without it ever bothering me. It’s a fun and sociable industry, I’ve made many of my closest friendships within it. There’s lot of film screenings, private views, gigs, parties, and awards ceremonies, including Cannes. I always thought that I wouldn’t be able to have a baby and do my job properly. I was surrounded by a lot of working mothers at my agency, but in different roles. The last woman in the creative department to return after having a baby did so 20 years ago.

 

I thought that I might fall so in love with being a mother that I wouldn’t ever be bothered with work again, that I’d find it all ridiculous in comparison to raising a child. But the opposite happened, and that surprised me, I love what I do and I love being a mother. I need both in my life.

I was expecting the sleep-deprived and exhausted state to take over, but instead things have become clearer. Yes I’m often tired but I don’t think I worry as much, and I think a large part of that was down to my dad dying, six weeks after Eliza was born. And then my mum became very ill. It really shocked me into appreciating what I’ve got right here, right now. I don’t have time to get tired or complacent about being a mother or a creative.

Something that mustn’t be overlooked is the freedom at work to go to the toilet by yourself, and drink a whole cup of tea. Those two small things felt like such a treat when I returned from maternity leave.

 

Sticking to the hours that I can physically be in the agency can be tough, and I can’t help but feel guilty when I know others in the team are still at work. I will probably always struggle with that. I work really hard to make sure that me being a mum isn’t a thing, that’s it not seen as a problem and doesn’t affect the projects I’m briefed on.

I travel with work a few times a year, I love that side of the job, seeing ideas coming to life and seeing the world. Eliza was 14 months when I first went away to America filming for a week. It was the first time I’d ever been away from her, we don’t have any grandparents nearby to help out. Knowing that she was in safe hands with her dad back in London allowed me to get stuck in to the project and enjoy my time away. But the minute the camera stopped turning over that plane couldn’t get me back home fast enough. I was expecting the usual ecstatic reception I get when I arrive home from work, but instead Eliza looked passed me and was more interested in my suitcase!

I hope I’m setting a great example for Eliza and she’ll be proud of what I do and want that for herself.

 

I couldn’t do it all without my partner Ivo. We’ve shared looking after Eliza from very early on, I’m very lucky in that respect. He’s a musician and writer, so he’s in charge of his own time, I think it really helps to have one of you in the relationship in that position. Although sometimes I feel like we’re two single parents doing shift work under one roof!

The agency I work for has been good at trying out different ways of working, so for the first few months after coming back from maternity I worked four days a week. And now I work full-time with one day at home, that extra hour in the morning and evening with Eliza makes all the difference. I love taking her out for breakfast on a Monday morning when everyone else is on their way to work. Right now it feels like a good balance has been struck, but things will probably change very soon and I’ll have to reassess and adapt again.

I’ve tried to create my week so that each day feels different, and I think that’s really helped to avoid any feelings of getting stuck in a rut. Mondays I work from home, gaining a few extra hours of precious time with Eliza. Tuesdays and Fridays Eliza goes to nursery, so the three of us are all rushing round getting ready together, Ivo always makes me a cup of tea, it means a lot. And on Wednesday & Thursday Eliza is at home with Ivo – at home but out at music, dancing and Spanish classes which I’m pretty jealous of.

 

I normally get up with Eliza when she wakes around 6am, I want as much time with her as I can possibly get before heading off to work. I’m in the agency from 9-5.30, rarely taking a proper lunch hour as I’d rather leave on time. I generally stay late at work once a week, and that can mean arriving home anywhere between 9pm-2am, depending on the project.

Since having Eliza I’ve managed to shave 20 minutes off my commute home, striding as fast as my shoes will carry me! I arrive home just in time to give Eliza her dinner, afterwards we do something before her bath, dancing to Notorious BIG or T Rex is always a winner. My favourite time is just before her bedtime, we’re snuggled up amongst the cuddly toys, she keeps still for a second with her bottle of milk and I read to her from my original childhood book, Roald Dahl’s Revolting Rhymes :‘The small girl smiles, one eyelid flickers. She whips a pistol from her knickers’.

Once Eliza’s asleep at about 7.30pm I get to work on packing away the toys and transforming our home back into a grown-up space. Ivo and I take it in turns to cook dinner, or I’ll cook up a batch of food for Eliza to go in the freezer. I’ll check back in with work emails just before sitting down to watch some mindless rubbish on the telly. When I first went to back to work I would wash and dry my hair in the evening after Eliza was in bed, to maximise the time I had with her in the mornings… that lasted about two months, and now I bring her into the bathroom with me in her highchair, playing peekaboo from behind the shower curtain.