While they may appear to be an addition to your existing life, children are often also the starting point for a new life. Their arrival, or – at some point down the line – the landmark of returning to work, may prompt you to reassess where you want to go and what you are doing with your own life. Although moments like this can be daunting, they are a great opportunity for personal change: your opportunity to decide what you want and to create your own lifestyle. If you want to make the most of this opportunity here are some pointers to creating a new life…

Get clear on what you want

Some women create business empires out of their frustration in sourcing baby food or finding a decent baby carrier. Some want to stay on the corporate track, while other mothers feel satisfied if they are not still in their dressing gown at tea-time. The life you lead should be yours. There are many patterns of motherhood and you should choose what works for you. Think about what you want, why it is important to you and how it matches your core values.

Assess your courage

There is no right or wrong here. Some people are bigger risk takers than others. Your capacity for risk will influence what you are prepared to do. Fears tend to be based around three markers: Physical security – do you have a roof over your head and do you feel safe? Financial security – can you put food on the table and more? Emotional security – tending and nurturing your inner self.

Brainstorm all your options

Put everything on the table, don’t censor or restrict the possibilities (don’t, at this stage, ask HOW… just get all the options out here). A hint to all you intellectual types: do more brainstorming/dreaming and less thinking. Your thinking brain will not solve this problem for you. Your dreaming, visionary, creative brain will. Scary, I know, but this is what you need at this stage of the process.

Now you know what you want to do, who do you take with you?

This is time to talk to those around you: family, friends, colleagues, and even your boss. Start gently sharing your vision with them. They will have fears, too, and if you spring a bunch of new ideas on them their fear will kick in. Go back to step 3 and consider their physical, financial and emotional fears. They may need looking after as you continue on your journey.

Get busy on a plan

And do it. Think of what you need to do in three,six 6 or 12 months. Beyond that you may need to scale up or down but don’t plan too much. Nobody knows what they will be doing in two years time! In coaching I find people are either thinkers or do-ers. Thinkers come up with a lot of ideas, almost too many to manage and never get it all done. If this is you, work on the next best step you can take and get it done.

Do-ers have difficulty doing introspective thinking and imagining. They tend to latch onto the first thing that occurs to them that looks half-credible. If this is you take the extra time to ponder and ruminate. Let your ideas rest for a while and come back to them. When you do implement you’ll get a long way up the ladder of life, so make sure your ladder is leaning against the right wall!

Liz Copeland is a coach who works with professionals who are successful but who feel bored or disappointed with their current life. Access Liz’s ’30 Day Create Your New Life Plan’ here

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